Add More Horsepower!

There are lots and lots of cars that are “mentally” upgraded with engines bigger than they are supposed to. Some consider this as aesthetics and balance. We consider this as dumbness and excess baggage weight.

The V8 powered Hyundai Getz. 1.4L + 2 exhaust pipes = 850HP. Guaranteed to outrun even the fastest Veyron available.

The V8 powered Hyundai Atoz. 1.0 or 1.1L + 2 exhaust pipes + non-functional diffusers + spoiler with gils = 1050HP. Guaranteed to outrun the Getz before him.

The V8 powered Hyundai Accident (what’s going on here? Everything’s Hyundai!). 1.5L + 2 exhaust pipes + shaved ass = 4500HP. It may outrun the Concorde with its ass that probably have a -5.0 coefficient drag.

The V8 powered Suzuki Swift. Cheesy paintjob + 2 exhausts = Gayness. And yes, those are Benz rim, because you know what? Benz rims are for Japanese cars! No, this one doesn’t even outrun the Koreans.

The V8 powered Honda CR-V. No power comparison needed, it’s Japanese with V-TEC and it’s a Honda. It will outrun the Koreans.

The V8 powered Honda Jazz. 1.5L + 2 exhaust pipes + NOS = Unlimited power. Because with NOS, you can outrun even the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-E.

The V16 powered Chevrolet Blazer. The power is off the chart and you Honda owners have been PWNED!!!! This is, just like what those riceboys like to say, King of Engine Power!

Facts:
Hyundai Getz, B 8462 HW, Pondok Indah. (B)
Hyundai Atoz, B 8371 HT, Casablanca. (AES)
Hyundai Accent, L 1091 AS, Galaxy Mall, Surabaya. (HN)
Suzuki Swift, B 28 MN, Barcelona Square, BSD City. (dos)
Honda CR-V, B 2564 OU, Bintaro. (B)
Honda Jazz, B 540 ST, Pondok Indah. (B)
Chevrolet Blazer, B 142 ER, Cinere. (AES)

Hmm… That license plate does really seem familiar. Can you guess who this is before without cheating? All I know that it runs on V12 :D.

And yes, we didn’t put this on the previous post for a reason.

Facts:
Honda Jazz, B 8294 KT, somewhere in Casablanca. (BI)

Yep, you guessed it, alright! Nothing feels better than ending the week at AMHP with a selection of this year’s idiotic Honda Jazzes. Without further ado, let’s just get it over with…

This is what a Honda Jazz would look like if Scorpion King himself bought it. Red hot without mercy, huh? Yeah, we know.

I thought the trend for this fugly-kind-of-paint has ended, but apparently not to some people. They probably still love the decorative ornaments from Balamb Garden.

This one must be wickedly fast that it needs enormous air intakes on the front bumper to get the air flowing… I don’t know, air flowing or brain cells flowing? Anybody can get any better pictures of this one?

I don’t care if this is your daughter’s car, your girlfriend’s car, or even your tasteless mom’s car, the Astroboy sticker DOES ruin it all.

The next day, it changes plate numbers for some reason… Hmm… Curious…

Facts:
Honda Jazz, B 1587 JB, Grand Indonesia. (B)
Honda Jazz, B 1800 DG, somewhere in Ancol. (BD)
Honda Jazz, B 8294 KT, somewhere in Casablanca. (BI)
Honda Jazz, D 111 DL, somewhere in Bintaro. (RA)
Honda Jazz, B 8792 ??/B 1071 JH, Kelapa Gading. (SL and Lunatic)

Remember Kermit? Well, we have some sources that gave us exceptional images to tell us what Kermit is all about. No, it’s not any “All About the Concept” or “Just Another Jazz”, just like what riceboys used to say when creating hideous rides. This is serious schtuff

Reports said that the owner is a UPH student, so that really lives up to the fact that UPH isn’t going to be short of dumb people anytime soon… I wonder how he can easily manage to get in with that so-called scissor doors.

Facts:
Honda Jazz, B 241 MF, somewhere in Jakarta and some shitty auto-show.
Thanks to GA for the photos.

This year, outrageous fake-engine mods is not running any low. We give you the best lineup for this year’s cars with lousy exhaust pipes.

First up, the Daihatsu Xenia, with a V8 engine, the oh-so-unsafe rear tailights (You’re not a Peugeot, bozo!), and springs that has been lowered to probably wreck the dude’s butt off.

I know that this belongs to the Team Red Thunder better, but why not here? The team’s overcrowded anyway… The Honda Jazz, also with a V8 engine.

Next up, the Shit Brown Aerio with shaved… Shaved… Everythi

ng. Whoops! I think he lost a tailpipe there, but you got to hand it to him for trying, though…

The Koreans are not letting themselves to be wiped out by Japanese V8s, that’s why this one is using a V16 engine.

But as much as the Koreans want to beat their Japanese counterparts, there’s always a better car from Japan. Even for riceboys. Introducing the 2008 Toyota Kijang Innova with V16 VVT-i engine that runs like a 2.0 engine but looks like a V16 engine… Err, wait… I think it’s supposedly the other way around.

But the Innova is nothing compared to its sibling… The V16 Lexus Corolla! 0-60 in 2 seconds, with a top speed of 4.560 MPH… In your dreams.

This is, of course, the ultimate VIP style that you can possibly get. A V16 Mazda Capella, with a strikingly gay color.

As for the last of the batch, yes, I know, this is probably a show car. But that doesn’t stop us from humiliating it for that stinkin GT-Wing, those enormous twin-bong exhaust pipes, and Venerdis on a racing-style mod??? If you think this is V8 or V16… Nooooo… This is V18!

Facts:
Daihatsu Xenia, B 8510 B, somewhere in Pakubuwono.
Honda Jazz, B 8544 XQ, somewhere in Serpong. (B)
Suzuki Aerio, B 8044 QG, somewhere in Serpong. (B)
Timor, B 2061 GR, somewhere in Pondok Pinang.
Toyota Kijang, unknown license plate, Jagorawi tolls. (Mpu Gondring)
Toyota Corolla, D 10 RR, unknown location. (RR)
Mazda Capella, B 1685 DK, BSD Plaza. (Billy Broccoli)
Toyota Corolla, unknown license plate, Autoblackthrough. (GNd)