Add More Horsepower!

Okay, so the following question that I’m gonna ask is probably worth 6 million dollars. Can someone please tell me, how do you ride in this:

And not get yourself to crap on your own pants? Really, I’m beginning to wonder if these so-called Anak Selatan boys have butts made of steel. How can you ride in something that practically doesn’t have any suspensions left? Doesn’t it make your one-and-only ass grow a tumor or something?

I’ve got a better idea, why not… Let’s see… Oh! Here comes the idea! Why not… Use no tires at all??? Hmm?? Sounds like a good idea, huh? Well, I mean if it scrapes the fenders too often anyway, you might as well ditch the rubber, right?

Here is another example of the moronic spring-cutting action on the loose:

Geez, you guys should really get your asses checked. You really don’t want your friends to know when you really do have tumors down there. Picture this:

Friend: “Man, how the hell did you get a tumor on your ass?”
Bozo 1: “Well, I drive this really low car that always make me bump on my seat…”

It’s not really much of an explanation, is it?

Facts:
Toyota Avanza, B 8641 NZ, SVN-10 Car Wash.
Suzuki Escudo, B 1414 ED, Pondok Indah.
Thanks to B for the photos.