Add More Horsepower!

No, we ain’t kidding. Just like Iron Man, this is the peak of the human achievement in technology. A Mugen-powered Honda Jazz, or Fit, or whatever you want, with TV sets inside, GPS, a tow bar (which I have no freaking idea if that’s gonna work or not), and of course, a VVT-i engine…

Facts;
Honda Jazz, B 8995 UM, Thamrin.
Thanks to BI for the photo, we’ve been eyeing this one for a while.

There are lots and lots of cars that are “mentally” upgraded with engines bigger than they are supposed to. Some consider this as aesthetics and balance. We consider this as dumbness and excess baggage weight.

The V8 powered Hyundai Getz. 1.4L + 2 exhaust pipes = 850HP. Guaranteed to outrun even the fastest Veyron available.

The V8 powered Hyundai Atoz. 1.0 or 1.1L + 2 exhaust pipes + non-functional diffusers + spoiler with gils = 1050HP. Guaranteed to outrun the Getz before him.

The V8 powered Hyundai Accident (what’s going on here? Everything’s Hyundai!). 1.5L + 2 exhaust pipes + shaved ass = 4500HP. It may outrun the Concorde with its ass that probably have a -5.0 coefficient drag.

The V8 powered Suzuki Swift. Cheesy paintjob + 2 exhausts = Gayness. And yes, those are Benz rim, because you know what? Benz rims are for Japanese cars! No, this one doesn’t even outrun the Koreans.

The V8 powered Honda CR-V. No power comparison needed, it’s Japanese with V-TEC and it’s a Honda. It will outrun the Koreans.

The V8 powered Honda Jazz. 1.5L + 2 exhaust pipes + NOS = Unlimited power. Because with NOS, you can outrun even the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-E.

The V16 powered Chevrolet Blazer. The power is off the chart and you Honda owners have been PWNED!!!! This is, just like what those riceboys like to say, King of Engine Power!

Facts:
Hyundai Getz, B 8462 HW, Pondok Indah. (B)
Hyundai Atoz, B 8371 HT, Casablanca. (AES)
Hyundai Accent, L 1091 AS, Galaxy Mall, Surabaya. (HN)
Suzuki Swift, B 28 MN, Barcelona Square, BSD City. (dos)
Honda CR-V, B 2564 OU, Bintaro. (B)
Honda Jazz, B 540 ST, Pondok Indah. (B)
Chevrolet Blazer, B 142 ER, Cinere. (AES)

Riceboys have plenty of ways to decorate their cars with lots of things. But when we think of those extreme ones, we know that they’re plunging lots of cash down the septic tank for body kits that are equivalent with what’s originally in that septic tank.

But those are riceboys who actually have money. What about those with a rather small budget, but need to keep their ricer roots satisfied? Relax… We have all the possible solutions.

OPTION 1: Try to have a car that you can’t own at the moment.

In this case, like a Ralliart-tuned Mitsubishi,

A Daihatsu Taruna,

Or like what everybody seems to be doing, a Lexus.

OPTION 2: Enhance the sticker experience on your car.

As we all know, Japanese kanjis always works!

Superheroes, too!

Or fool the bad guys with this one!

OPTION 3: If stickers don’t do much good, try having parts that you DON’T even own.

Like a V6 engine,

A turbo kit,

A set of stickers that you could find in Need for Speed: Underground,

Or even the Harley Davidson. Yes, the bike, not the V-Twin engine. Trust me, a Harley police always makes people turn their heads.

OPTION 4: Use alphabetical badges and try to be kampung.

Just like this!

OPTION 5: Use non-functional parts just for the kicks.

Don’t worry, expensive cars can be fakers too sometimes. Maybe he ran out of money for accessories, you’ll never know…

So there we have it, all the things you can do with money that is probably less than when you have to buy underwear! Pretty neat, huh?

Facts:
Daihatsu Feroza, B 7814 ZB, Pondok Indah Mall 2 parking area. (B)
Suzuki Jimny, B 2692 MJ, Otobursa, Senayan. (Lunatic)
Toyota Kijang, B 8966 ZY, Radio Dalam. (B)
Daihatsu Taruna, B 8309 BE, Interstudi Wijaya. (B)
Toyota Kijang, B 1135 HW, unknown location.
Daihatsu Terios, B 1125 WJ, Pondok Indah Mall 2 parking area.
Toyota Soluna, D 1227 EZ, Supermall parking area.
Toyota Kijang, unknown license plate, Sunter. (Mpu Gondring)
Toyota Kijang, B 2888 GI, unknown location. (JRH)
Toyota Kijang, B 201 JW, Deplu. (B)
Timor, B 2128 QI, Jagorawi tolls. (Mpu Gondring)
Mercedes Benz C-Class, B 46 AK, Deplu. (B)
Toyota Celica, B 889 JC, UPH Parking Area. 

No, we didn’t mean THE Suzuki Cappuccino. That one is one of the best Kei cars ever produced in Japan. We meant this:

Not that caffeine is all that bad, but when you mix caffeine with too much nicotine… Well… You get the picture. And oh by the way, according to our contributor, this car even have to go backwards just to climb down from ITC Fatmawati’s ramp. Hmm… I think I’ll keep my options off from nicotine.

Facts:
Suzuki Aerio, unknown license plate, ITC Fatmawati.
Thanks to B for the photos. 

I don’t know about you, but as far as I know, an “EVOLUTION” didn’t come with warp engines, Benz rims, nor holey cheap-ass bumpers. But again, as far as I know, “EVOLUTIONS” are one of Anak Selatan’s most wanted ride after the Great Corolla. But then again, to Anak Selatans, JAPANESE cars are meant to be used with GERMAN rims.

Facts:
Mitsubishi Lancer, B 8266 VA, Mayestik.
Thanks to B for the photos.